The past few weeks of my life have been quite overwhelming. Now, in the past, I associated the overwhelmed feeling with mostly negative experiences in my life. However, for every negative that overwhelmed me this time, God has provided something positive that is equal to or even greater than the negative experience. Here are just a few of my experiences...
1. Doctor diagnoses me with cancerous tumor...before I am awake family and friends have arrived at the hospital in overwhelming numbers to pray and support Stephen and me.
2. Tough chemo and radiation are ordered...special friends that are really like family provide me with fuzzy, warm pajamas, fuzzy pink slippers, and fuzzy warm blankets to comfort and keep me warm.
3. Overwhelmed with fatigue...church family shows up and provides meals...each time, more than we needed.
4. Within one week, all 3 boys visit the doctor plus Stephen plus 2 hospital visits for me...God provides financial support through several of my WES family and other friends
5. Days before Christmas, I spend time in the hospital (not prepared for Christmas, b/c I procrastinate)..instead of stress, God provides me with an awesome nursing staff that is knowledgable, caring, and professional
I could go on for days. God has not only met each and every need. He has overwhelmed us with support and people who are waiting to meet our needs. That is just the kind of God He is. When this journey first began, I knew that I would be relying on God as my Healer. I'm also learning how He is my provider. I always knew He would provide for my every need. After all, He met the most important one...my need for the Savior. My need for redemption, He provided. It seems each time something bad or tough has come along, God has met our need--sometimes even before we knew what the need was. I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. Amazing is the only way to describe how God has placed people in my life who have helped me along this journey. It is simply indescribable.
At least once a day, I try to have each of my boys look me straight in the eye as I tell them "I love you." Throughout this experience, I feel as if God has taken my face in His hands, looking me in the eyes saying, "My child, I love you." The last two weeks have been rough. At times, I felt as if I was in a dark valley. Yet the entire time, I could feel His presence...His hands holding my facing reminding me of how much He cares. I don't know that I'll ever comprehend how much He loves me. I don't think I'll ever understand why He continues to love me. I do know this...I am honored to have Him walk this journey with me. I am honored to have a precious husband beside me each step of the way. I am honored to have the family and friends that cover me in prayer so faithfully each day. Overwhelmed....with His love, grace, and mercy.
- ► 2011 (11)